What never was, and never should be
by Cyborgscouse
Summary: Set during the pilot, Cromartie managed to shoot John before the Connor's and Cameron where taken to 2007, the damage sends John to 2004 and a psychiatric hospital where no one believes his story about machines from the future and the end of the world.


**Disclaimer: **We all know the drill; I don't own anything to do with the Terminator films, games, TV shows or franchise. If I did then there would have been a lot of changes to what happened especially since the rights were being sold for about one million pound.

**Summary: ** Set during the pilot, Cromartie managed to shoot John before the Connor's and Cameron where taken to 2007, the damage sends John to 2004 and a psychiatric hospital where no one believes his story about machines from the future and the end of the world. Can he prove to anyone that he's telling the truth or has John Connor been there longer then he knows?

**What never was and what never should be.**

Stroking her son's hair as he slept inside their stolen car as she ignored the new terminator that had been sent back to protect him, the terminator that was proof they hadn't changed a thing; that Skynet was still hell bent on bringing Judgement day about but first it was going to try and kill her son. Looking up at the brunette, it hadn't taken much for Sarah to know that this was the pretty girl at school he'd denied existed when she had asked him about it, and while not wanting to think about it now, knowing what lay under the skin of a teenage girl; part of her couldn't blame John for being attracted to her originally as much as the thought sickened her.

"So what now, you just drop out the sky, stop the metal that's after him and we go into hiding?" letting the venom lace her question at the thought of having a machine following the two of them around again. She'd kept her son safe practically alone his whole damn life she didn't need his future self sending protectors back in time anymore, telling her that she wasn't good enough; she couldn't keep him safe no matter what she tried, a nagging voice in the back of her head told Sarah that wasn't the only complaint she had about having a terminator around them, the memory of John crying, begging and ordering the T-800 not to leave him was burnt into the backs of her eyes and the thought terrified her of what his reaction would be if this albeit prettier model asked them to destroy her.

"John ordered me to keep him safe." Cameron cocked her head to the side; her expression slightly confused picking up on the hostility coming from the older woman, something that had been evident seconds after she had temporarily disabled Cromartie and had attempted to tell them what year she came from only to be told not yet. She was still unable to interpret how being told vital information about what year she came from and when Judgement day started would somehow affect Sarah's ability to drive, and so far she had only been able to come to one logical conclusion; the older woman was not in fact a very good driver if she needed all of her attention on the road ahead and was unable to focus with any noise inside the car at the same time. "I'll be staying with him until we've stopped Skynet from being created," her gaze moving to the fifteen year old who for all purposes looked dead to the world, a hint of something not completely machine like or just lines of coding flashed across her eyes as she took in the differences between what he looked like now and what Cameron knew he'd become given time, and losses. The hard lines of his face were already there, the mistrust of other people that would never truly leave him in the future as he would later develop his own inner circle of soldiers and his eyes; green eyes that appeared shut off to the world, the resistance had often said that his eyes head taken the cold, hardened look when he saw the destruction Skynet caused after Judgement day, but now she knew better, the light in his eyes had died a long time ago; because of them, because he had never truly lived, because he was John Connor; hero, legend and warrior before he could walk or talk.

"And then what, we burn you too?" not liking the softness that seemingly formed over Cameron's face as she looked at her son, Sarah dragged the terminator's attention back to her and if she hadn't known better she would have thought that the machine looked slightly annoyed at her gaze being broken; but she did know better, she knew that they couldn't feel because if they could then they wouldn't be able to kill so mercilessly; nothing but metal and wire, ones and zeros. Watching as the female cyborg's attention drifted away from John and back towards her, "he told us that it was too dangerous for him to not be destroyed, are you going to make the same decision?" just who she was talking about didn't need to be voiced by Sarah if this newer model had been around for more than two years like she believed.

"We don't want to be destroyed," the words were carefully measured letting her know that if given the choice she wouldn't kill herself, "and I can't self terminate." Cameron didn't let her focus stay on Sarah for too long, slowly her eyes moved back to the now shifting male who for all intents and purposes was their sole reason for being. "The decision would be for John to make when the time came, if he wanted it I would allow him to destroy me." Allow but not want, the point was made for the older woman, this one would not offer up her life as the T-800 had done so selflessly before.

"And if I tried to kill you once it was all over?" leaning forward slightly as she asked her question, she was quickly reminded what was sitting in front of her as if she could never forget that when ethereal blue eyes shone back at her, through the glass brown iris',

"You'd fail, and John would be left with me, without you." The answer was a simple one, but at the same time not one that Sarah was looking for or even liked as a shiver ran down her spine at the clear threat, try to kill me and I'll not only kill you but also make sure I'm with your son. Opening her mouth to offer her own threat, ready to tell the pretty brunette that she might be with them now but the second she was deemed a threat or useless she'd find herself in a scrap heap, the subject of their conversation slowly stirred and it was enough for her attention to snap back to her son no longer interested in Cameron who had subtly moved herself away from the mother and son pair acting like she had been patrolling around the small garage that they had hidden themselves in the night before.

Trying not to focus on the words that were now echoing around her head, Sarah had enough faith in her skills as not only as a parent but in also what she had taught John to know that he'd make the right decisions about to do with Cameron when the time came, _her_ son would not be taken in by the lithe figure or big doe brown eyes. Leaning over him as he started to wake up, in the way that she knew he hated and yet had been unable to stop herself doing since he was a child, her hand coming up once again brushing the hair from his face until she saw him jump as his eyes opened recognizing the outline of someone over him.

"Don't do that." The complaint coming as he opened the car door wider and carefully climbing out of the vehicle, his legs still numb from sleeping sitting up most of the night, to the disappointment of Sarah; John's eyes gradually found Cameron who up until now had her back turned to them, having opened the garage door marginally and was looking out to make sure that no one would come into their hiding space. Seemingly like she could sense that she was being watched, she slowly turned around her eyes finding John before turning to Sarah, lips curling up into a ghost of a at the annoyed look that was forming on her face. "What's going on?" the whole act took less than four seconds and so he was the only one not to notice the change in either females expression or Cameron starting her journey back towards them, walking behind the pieces of scrap metal that had been left behind instead of the shorter journey which would have taken her in a straight line. For her part Sarah didn't know what to say to her son, she could tell him that they were going to be on the run again like they were before they met Charlie but she wasn't sure what his reaction to that would have been, part of him resented her for making them leave, she knew that; she could deal with his resentment, handle his anger and hatred if it meant keeping him alive.

"We can fight Skynet, stop it." That is what she was going to have a hard time dealing with, both of them turned towards the female terminator who had managed to position herself to the left of John looking up at the future leader of mankind, whatever Sarah was going to say was cut off by the declaration, twin looks of shock formed on both of the Connor's faces as they stared at Cameron, neither expecting her to come out with that. "John set up a way we could stop Skynet before it was created, end the war before it be..."

"And you're just telling us this now?" Sarah knew that deep down they hadn't given her time to say anything about the mission that she had, all they'd gotten from her was that she was sent back to protect her son and the day before tensions had been running too high to listen to what year she had even been sent back from. "How would John have a way to destroy Skynet before it was built? Why not do that instead of sending machine after machine back?" then tension before Sarah and Cameron was palpable, that was if a cyborg could feel the tension in the room, and the annoyance that the older woman was obviously feeling for her at the minute in time. Opening her mouth to reply to the questions of her before closing it again, the brunette seemed at a loss as to how she could answer anything that had been put to her, she didn't know why John continued to send terminators back in time but she wasn't going to question his decision even if it had meant leaving him. Cameron's eyes dropped slightly, moving imperceptibly as she tried to come up with a solution as to why a group of resistance fighters hadn't merely been sent back to stop Skynet at the source as she replayed his orders over in her head, _'my mom, she won't want to listen to you in fact she'll do anything but listen. It doesn't matter, if they want to try and stop Judgement from ever happening make the jump, knock her out and drag me out of there if you have to' _

"John wasn't sure if you'd keep fighting or hide." The statement echoed around the garage bouncing back louder then she had spoken it, causing Sarah to snap her head towards her son almost as if he was the one that said it, and while he mightn't have said the words yet or told her them her heart broke as he stared back. There wasn't the reassurance she had been expecting, the fervent denial that he would never think she'd stop fighting the war, instead he was gauging her reaction to the statement and she didn't know what to do; something had happened or something would happen in the future and it meant he'd stop trusting her, stop believing that she wanted to end the war before it began, truly thought that she wanted this life for him.

Standing up quickly as she made her way past John and towards the other side of the parked car slamming the door shut as she climb in Sarah's mind quickly went into overdrive, could she blame him for losing faith in her? Would she be able to keep faith if the situation was reversed and he had forced the life on her that she had done to him? She knew that it had all be necessary and that he had known that, she had kept her son alive but beyond that was simply keeping him alive enough? All she had shared with him was the nightmare Kyle Reese had shared with her before he died, the fact that the world rested on his shoulders was something that he been told for such a long time Sarah forgot how old he had even been; if the knowledge wasn't enough then being hunted across time much like she was, was simply a smack in the face to tell him that this would always be his life.

So lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice the car door being re-opened and closed again as John and Cameron both climbed in, neither of the two had spoken a word since the terminator's statement about what future John thought. Only a slight movement in the passenger seat was enough to drag Sarah back to the here and now, looking at her son sitting next to her and the for now terminator protector in the back seat using the rear view mirror to look at her; she knew that she had been outnumbered, John despite what he said about his life or how often he complained he never had the chance to be normal, it had been clear for a long time that he would give anything to not spend the next sixty years fighting this war.

"Where too?" the resigned question was followed by a sigh, what had happened to the easy days of running from the police and FBI whenever there was a whisper they knew where the Connor's where? Listening to Cameron as she instructed her to drive to a bank, the confused look never leaving her face as her gaze flashed to John whose face mirrored her own, what would a weapon be doing in a bank and just how had he been able to get someone to put one in there without anyone else having a clue? However the Connor matriarch followed the instructions to the letter, her eyes flicking up to the mirror hoping to see some type of expression form on Cameron's face and yet it remained blank as she stared out of the windshield, the frustration was mounting although slowly, bubbling under the surface since their talk while John was asleep; and now this. "Don't you think we need more information before we get there?" the biting tone caused the only male in the car to lower his head; this was _not_ the time or the place for a confrontation, especially the kind that his mom wanted.

"No," the reply was soft leaving no doubt that they wouldn't get the information from her and it took a second to remember that regardless of what she looked like she was still a machine sent from the future that could kill them both without a seconds thought as well as wondering if she could say anything that was spoken in a soft voice designed to get what it wanted, "John said." The much unneeded and yet added statement was followed by an exasperated groan from the teen Cameron was sort of talking about, by the way things were going if they managed to stop Skynet here and now he wouldn't be around to see his sixteenth birthday. The look on Sarah's face told him that she had the same line of thought that he had visibly bristling at hearing her own son apparently not trusting her in the future as he didn't think she'd continue the fight alone but didn't see that she would need an information about how they would fight at all. "The information is classified, a terminator could capture you, make you tell them what happened and find a way to alter the timeline." Slamming her foot down with more force then was needed bringing the car to a screeching halt outside of the bank, causing people walking past to turn and look at the three people who didn't want attention drawn to them.

The trio swiftly started making their way towards the large double doors of the bank Cameron leading them as she scanned for any movement inside that would signal danger for one of their group, remembering subtly and not merely brute force was the key to try and make this work at least for now, she slowly pushed the door open, her arm trailing behind her to keep hold of it allowing John to come through, keeping her gaze forward as he walked beside her.

"So do you have, like an account here?" keeping his voice quiet for reasons unknown to himself as he didn't think anyone would mind hearing that one of them could actually have a reason to be there, as his mind was still coming up with different scenarios to explain why Cameron had led them here. Refusing to turn her head as they continued the quick pace towards the front desk, John was ready to drop back towards his mom, when her body tilted ever so slightly as the brunette changed direction now making her way towards one of the security guards who had his back to them.

"Safety deposit box," the three word answer continued the already set trend by her from the new addition to the Connor's illicit group as she offered no more detail unless she thought one of them was going to continue the line of questioning, Sarah opened her mouth ready to try and pry more information from her when the terminator's hand shot out expertly removing the guards gun from the holster and forcing him down to his knees. Two shots rang out startling everyone in the bank including John and Sarah, as they stared at her in shock and horror about the attention she was drawing and the fact that it wouldn't be long before the police were alerted to what was happening there. "Everyone on the floor! Please." The order from Cameron no matter how polite that it sounded had everyone do what she had asked, as customers and staff members alike all slowly lowered themselves down, pressing flat against the floor but not before one bank teller pressed the panic button under her desk. Heart stopping when brown eyes found her, she watched as the psychotic five foot four brunette made her way over to her, the blank expression that was on her face gave nothing away. "Keys to the safety deposit boxes," mother and son stared at each other in confusion due to the actions of their terminator, though neither were able to question her as the bank teller slowly moved around to the front of the desk, keys in hand.

Three became four as the teller was gently pushed forward by Cameron who was quick to follow her acquisition leaving John and Sarah little choice but to trail behind her neither noticing the security camera that had been trained on them the second the gun had been pulled, four different corridors and two card key doors later they were stood outside a seven foot tall three feet wide vault door. John briefly thought you'd need intricate knowledge about how to open it without a key, which lucky for them they had a selection of,

"Get inside," once again being ordered around by her was enough to shake both of them out of their stupor as Sarah and John slowly walked past Cameron and the teller, turning around to watch what was going to happen next, the brunette stepping inside carefully not turning around to look at them before slowly closing the door was not what they had thought would happen. "Lock us in and then step away from the door; I'll know if you don't." Ignoring the incredulous stares that were being sent her way, she carefully handed them half the keys each that she had taken from the teller, "you need to empty these and put the contents on that table." Turning away from them before they had a chance to argue like they might have liked to, Cameron swiftly moved to the other side of the room, prying the doors open with an ease that came from being metal.

An annoyed look past between the two Connor's as they moved to opposite ends of the vault carefully opening the doors corresponding to the keys that they had been given, neither sure just what would be stored in them and the way things had gone so far with Cameron they weren't willing to put anything past the female terminator. A mirror image to the car journey to the bank, tension started to slowly fill up in the moderate sized room; both John and Sarah were knocking into each other as the table was gradually being filled with a collection of different shaped and sized parts, picking a palm sized piece up John stared in confusion at the sleek black metal and the wires dropping down from it before turning his attention to their mute companion, who hadn't moved from her position on one side of the room opening more doors and by the looks of things from his perspective using something that was in there. Shaking his head he started walking back to where he had been last, looking down at the keys that were in his hands when the unmistakable sound of shattering glass bounced off of the walls; three heads snapped towards the door at the far end of the vault, all of them having some idea about what had caused the noise.

"Work quicker," Cameron's order was quickly followed by a deafening thud on the other side of the door that seemed to shake the room; a worried gaze flickered between mother and son before they did what they had been told; keys were turned, doors opened and pieces carried over to the table with increasing urgency as the cyborg in the room followed her own command before suddenly turning around and advancing on them. Sarah was forcefully pushed to the side and away from the table as Cameron vigilantly started picking the pieces of different metals, wires and glass up, interlocking them with a skill and a speed that showed her for what she was if anyone had been watching; pieces that didn't look like they were of any use could be heard clicking as they joined together. Seconds dragged out like minutes as what she had brought them here for was slowly taking shape, the thunderous banging continued on the door and yet only John and Sarah appeared to notice it, jumping each time the room shook; slowly turning back towards them enabling them to see what she had in her arms, Cameron's eyes were once again shining their wraithlike blue as she help some type of rifle out to them. "When the isotope turns red you can fire." Showing Sarah what she was talking about before sliding the isotope into the weapon before she spun away from them again, ripping parts of the of the doors off this time not having the patience needed to simply open them like she had done prior revealing some type of computer resting behind it.

"What the...what is tha..." John's statement was cut short as the female terminator started to type on what could have passed for an atm machine keyboard before opening another small door and as swiftly typing on that before kneeling down next to him. Any further questions were stopped by the sound of shredding metal; fear filled his body as he spun back towards the door almost knocking into the machine next to as he could see the face of Cromartie looking back through the holes that he was making, skin having been torn and ripped off in places on his face, not being the only one to react to the presence of the new terminator Sarah had quickly aimed the rifle for the door waiting for the isotope to turn red; waiting to be able to kill at least one machine today. Not sufficed with the surprises that they'd had that day so far, fate seemed to throw another one in their path as a blue bubble formed around John, Sarah and Cameron, the energy off of it arcing around them but surprisingly not leaving any visible marks on the vault itself. Staring at both of them and back to the terminal that she had been using, the brunette terminator moving her hand to the central button catching the attention of the male next to her; an inconspicuous nod went between the two of them and it was the only signal that he needed. "Mom!" the urgency in his tone was made more so when he spotted the handgun that was hanging loosely from Cromartie's trousers barely visible through the holes in the door as the male terminator was staring back at back at them; his eye glowing ominously red as he recognized the TDE bubble that had formed around them.

It's not ready. Was the only thought that was going through Sarah Connor's head at that point in time, her gaze flicking from the plasma rife in her hands, to the machine that wanted her son dead poised at the was left at the door and finally to the brunette who was still crouched at his knee staring back at her. They had one chance to get this right and she wanted nothing more than to scream out in frustration at the fact the isotope still refused to turn red and allow her to blow her target apart, the frustration quickly transformed into fear; fear as Cromartie had made short work of the vault door and was currently stepping over the jagged pieces of metal that should have torn his legs apart as they cut into the skin though he moved as if it had never happened.

"Do it!" Three of the four moved in unison, Cameron and Cromartie's reflexes that much quicker than Sarah's springing into action as soon as the words left her mouth. Turning her head ever so slightly as her hand pressed down on the button ready to send the herself and the two Connor's eight years into the future and buy them some breathing room before they were once again found; brown eyes narrowed as she heard a soft gasp coming from John as her opposite number had drawn his gun at the same time she had started moving. "Shit!" gaze flicking up at the approaching metal and back down again praying to see red, Sarah barely noticed the streams of energy moving more frequently, her sole focus was on Cromartie who had paused briefly before moving with a purpose towards them, eyes menacing and his finger slowly pulling back on the trigger. A ghost of a smile formed as she noticed a minute red shine from the bottom of her eyes, a sense of pride filled her that you can only get once you have been waiting an eternity to do and hers came from watching the head and body of that thing seemingly explode as a broad bolt of blue energy collided with his chest; however a gunshot resonating around the room a millisecond before Cromartie was destroyed was enough to fill her with dread.

"John!" Cameron's yell was enough for Sarah's stomach to drop out, spinning around her eyes widened as she stared in horror at the thin trail of blood that was flowing down her son's chin, his own gaze not meeting her instead they were looking down at the hastily growing wet patch that was on his shirt causing it to stick to him. Pained green eyes stared back into hers as he slowly tumbled backwards, his body falling out of the TDE bubble in slow motion.

"No," being able to do anything but shake her head sadly as tears fell down her face, she could only watch as Cameron's body contorted as she attempted to grab hold of the fifteen year old and drag him back inside the bubble, in a flash they were gone..

The booming crack of thunder that filled the air was followed by the inevitable downpour of rain soaking anyone and anything that was out in the small thunderstorm, small puddles of water were forming on what should have been an immaculate grass field but it was hastily being turned into a mud-spattered mess. Flood lights attached to the large high security building could barely be made out in the torrential rain, however the large blue flash managed to light up the sky allowing anyone that was in the building a perfect view of the field and the outline of a solitary person apparently appearing before dropping onto their back.

Having been ready to close down for the night and make her way home the secretary who had been startled by the flash and being unsure about what could of caused it slowly made her way to the window, brow narrowing in confusion at the outline of someone laying down in the weather even though it wasn't that much of a shock considering where she was employed. Not thinking twice about it and not that she was able to either, she quickly grabbed her umbrella, sighing softly to herself as she started the short journey to the main doors being unable to retrieve her coat as it was on another wing of the current floor and there was no way to be able to tell just how long they had been laying out there.

"You don't make sure that they've all come back in and this is what happens," shaking her head and positioning the umbrella slightly in front of her as the wind howled the second that doors had been opened, frowning she slowly made her way outside feeling her feet sink into the mud and make a squelching sound as they were dragged back up only for it to happen once again as her foot touched the field. Making her way carefully towards the silhouette that so far hadn't moved. "Who the fuck goes out in this weather?" talking to herself helped as lightning lit up the sky and the path in front of the woman once again showing her that she had not been crazy and there was definitely someone out with her, "I'm going to kill them the second they wake up." Muttering the threat felt good to do no matter how empty it was, any hint of violence to the patients there would result in her termination immediately and how would you explain to a future employer that you had been sacked for attacking someone. "Connor, I should have known." A sad sigh left her and she stared down at the fifteen year old male, he'd been here for three years and still hadn't been able to adjust to living in a psychiatric hospital; claiming and claiming again that he was John Connor, future saviour of the world when Skynet caused Judgement day the only people who knew what Judgement day or Skynet was meant to be were him and the select few that had seen his psych file. "Wanted to lay out naked and look at the stars?"

The journey back to Pescadero while only taking three minutes was all the more harder whilst trying to support John next to her, while being mindful of where her hands were going, as him waking up and with his history thinking that she was a machine from the future would not end well for either of them. Stumbling in the mud the secretary winced as she lost her grip on her companion as he fell face first back onto the field, mud and water flying up in every direction.

"You know this would go a lot easier if I had brought my radio with me and could call for help, but nooooo sir, I thought to come out here and see what was happening on my own," heaving him back to his feet and groaning while she did so she continued her rant to the unconscious John, "someone could of been out here you know, waiting for me and once they saw me alone who knows that they could have done. I mightn't be actress or model good looking like some of the doctors who come here but I'll have you know five years ago I could have knocked your socks off." If getting him across the field had been a struggle, then lifting John up the stairs and back inside before finding a table to place him on was a nightmare, before she left to go and get the radio she should have taken with her as soon as she had the suspicion that there was someone outside and it hadn't just been the light playing tricks on her. "Here, I don't think you want to be showing that to everyone." Placing a sheet over his prone form for modesty's sake didn't do all that much, him dripping from head to toe with water and coated in mud meant that the sheet quickly stuck to him like a second skin. "Just don't go anywhere, I'll get someone to come and take you back to your room." Not sure why she had spoken to John knowing full well there was next to no chance that he was going to respond or that he was even awake.

Sitting in an empty dark hall way of a mental institution with the only other occupant being an unconscious patient was an unsettling experience for her, even more so then being alone in her office at night, horror films where the killer had been taken to a morgue or was placed somewhere thinking they were dead only to sit up again had done a number on the secretary's nerves. Her mind was screaming at her that John wasn't a seemingly indestructible horror film serial killer who was going to get up and strangle her to death; his violent rages had been well documented especially when his delusions had completely taken hold of his mind and he was sure there were deadly machines from the future wanting nothing more than to kill him and watch the world burn.

_Next time on What never was and never should be: JOHN: Where...where am I? [walks around a cafeteria] ZEEKE: You need to take it easy; no one's going to hurt you here. [John's forced to take a pill and spits it back out when no one is looking] JOHN: Where's my mum and where's Cameron? [A brunette walks into a large room wearing a skirt suit] CAMERON: Hello John._


End file.
